Who was the funnest authority figure
Who's in charge? What authority really means.
Authority has a bad reputation.
It sounds like severity, discipline, arbitrariness, North Korea and the Third Reich, the ruthless exercise of power and, on the other hand, a loss of self-determination and dignity.
The abuse of authority has brought tremendous suffering to humanity, and so the word is mostly used in a negative context.
Authority is beautiful.
Yes, more than that, vital.
I love, love, love authority - and I bet after reading this you will love it too.
1. WHO'S SAYING THAT?
Whoever has authority is in charge.
Whoever has authority determines where to go.
Whoever has authority sets the course.
Whoever has authority is ahead - the others have to follow.
Authority is leadership.
There is ALWAYS someone leading.
There is no such thing as a neutral state in life.
The good news is:
You have authority over your life.
You are in charge.
You decide where to go.
You set the course.
You are in front.
However, this fact will do you absolutely nothing if you are not aware of it.
Like some boss who for some crazy reason believes he's one of the employees and lets everyone boss him around, you will never enjoy the privileges of this leadership unless you are clear about who you are and what your position is is intended.
I am lucky and I tell you:
The leadership position in your life - it belongs to YOU.
You are the boss.
If you don't decide, someone else (consciously or unconsciously) will always rule over you.
Again: there is no such thing as neutrality - that is a romantic wishful thinking and an outright lie.
Either you decide.
Or others about you: circumstances, feelings, thoughts, other people.
And today is the day you realize that.
2. Everyone wants to be the boss. But nobody wantsTo take responsibility.
The boss is the head of, the boss is respected (and that's a good thing) and the boss deserves the most (and that's a good thing).
Everyone wants to be the boss.
Being a boss is sexy.
However, every management position always has both:
Privileges AND responsibility.
You can still wish very much to be the boss of your life:
If you do not take responsibility for your thoughts and actions, then you are nothing more than a character that is pushed back and forth depending on the circumstances and your state of mind.
All positive thinking brings ZERO if you don't take control of your life, make decisions, and are ready to face the consequences of those decisions.
Relying on love does not mean hoping for the best and carrying on as before.
It means acting accordingly - come what may.
The truth nobody wants to hear:
Making decisions is not always pleasant, and not always everyone is happy with it.
Not assuming responsibility is supposedly easier at first: then you still lead the same lousy life as you have for years, but nobody gets upset.
Taking responsibility for your life means not making excuses.
Taking responsibility for one's life means not blaming others for the current situation (even if they are actually to blame!).
Taking responsibility for one's life means:
No more waiting for the other person to change.
No more waiting for money to come.
No more waiting for a miracle to happen - and act instead.
Then the miracle will come. Through you.
If you blame your situation on others, or just wait until something changes (and some can wait loo long. Weeks. Months. Years. Decades!), Then you have already left the managerial position.
Then someone else has long since taken the lead in your life:
And nobody seriously wants to have passivity as their boss ?!
Can you see now how important it is to be aware of your authority and exercise it?
However, if you actually become aware of your authority over your life and exercise it, you will soon enjoy the privileges of being a boss:
a free, happy and self-determined life.
"O.k., Joanna, and how do I do that in concrete terms?"
3. HOW TO EXERCISE AUTHORITY.
Exactly 2 things are needed to exercise authority:
1. You have to realize that you have it.
Not your mom, not your partner, not fate, not the state, not luck in the lottery:
YOU. HAS. THE. SAY.
If you do not exercise this conscious authority, it will be exercised unconsciously by others.
You can find it good or bad, it doesn't change the fact that it is.
2. You have to be clear about what you want.
Nothing is worse for employees than a boss who is insecure and doesn't know what he wants:
everyone is confused, no one can please him, and in the end everyone is dissatisfied.
If, on the other hand, the instructions are clear, then it is very easy for everyone:
That's what the boss wants.
And he doesn't want that.
(Guess what: what the boss wants and what doesn't have to please everyone. They have to do it anyway. Or they quit.)
And now I ask you:
What do you want?
What do you want in your life
And what don't you want
The following therefore applies:
What do you put up with?
And what not?
From that everything will result automatically.
The more insecure and willing to compromise, the greater the chaos in your life.
The clearer you are in what you want, the faster everything will be sorted out.
Exercising authority specifically means:
- You as the boss do not allow yourself to pity yourself (although you actually have every reason to do so), but tell your feelings "That is enough, we will calm down now, and stop this pity soup."
Clear announcement: the feelings know where to go, do not act, and you can act.
- As a boss, you NEVER and NEVER allow yourself thoughts that make your person small or inferior and tell you that you cannot do anything, do nothing right, are not important and it does not matter that you exist.
These things are an absolute NO GO in your head, and you act on the spot when they come up (of course, they usually come up when they are triggered by appropriate situations or people - the devil is not stupid).
You refuse to believe them, and you say firmly: NO.
Not with me.
- As a boss, you resist melancholy excursions into the past and mental gimmicks a la "It could all be so perfect if ... and if not back then ... just this one thing ..." - all this longing / regret / regret bullshit only lets you in a weird wishful thinking sauce and it won't get you anywhere.
What you do instead:
You decide from the heart that THAT is your life (that is, NOW right now. Not only when ...).
You say goodbye to your previous lifelong dream (if you want, you can cry for a moment), and then you throw yourself into the new situation with everything you are and everything you have.
AND WHEN THE BOSS SAYS WE GOODBYE, THAT'S SO.
What do you want for your life
What do you want for your life NOW?
If your answer is "Longing, Regret, Suffering, Suffering, Being Sad" then stick with it
"But Joanna, it could have been so perfect, if only ...".
Or with "But Joanna, you don't understand my situation ..."
Or with "But Joanna, I'm a special case because it's particularly complicated for me."
If your answer is “beauty, strength, greatness, dignity, excellence, love”, then you know where to go.
You exercise authority.
You set the direction over and over again: I want that. And not that.
4. Advanced authority.
I know that there are situations in which you literally reach your limit: challenges that take your feet off the ground, problems that seem unsolvable, circumstances where everything is terribly unfair or threatening, and something really bad happens.
Do you know what I always do then?
I may be impressed for a moment, but I'll decide next:
“This is already the next level. It happens to me lucky because I am exactly the RIGHT one to master it really well. I can do it! "
However, I don't wait for me to feel confident. I just decide.
Because I have the authority to do it.
Authority is sovereignty, security, steadfastness - and in a certain sense also rigor.
Strictness not in the sense of harshness, but severity in the sense of "I will not allow any drama or despair or" OMG we will all die, everything is so terribly bad. "
Stop it now.
That is not worthy of me.
I have decided for my life (and I can decide that, after all I am the boss and I tell where to go):
No more drama in my life.
Absolutely nothing can be so terribly bad as that I would not only solve it great, but also emerge from it umpteen times stronger and more radiant.
No matter what it looks like, no matter how it sounds, no matter what my mind or my experiences or other people are saying.
The love that I embody is always umpteen times more superior - if it weren't for that, I can stop everything right away.
My authority comes directly from love, and only because of this am I able to master humanly borderline situations unscathed, and not to become hard in the process.
Nor am I a wimp who puts up with anything.
I just know what I want and what I don't want, and most of all, I know for sure:
This love is like armor around me, and in the end it always won.
And that's why nothing can happen to me at all.
Now do you know what I meant when I said that authority is beautiful?
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