Why are some people shy and shy

Why are people shy? What can shy people do?

Guide overview

Do you find it difficult to speak to other people, to speak up at meetings, or to give a presentation to a small group? Then you probably suffer from shyness. You can find out what causes this and what shy people can do about it in this guide.

Different forms of shyness

The extreme type of shyness is also known as social phobia. Those affected avoid contact with others, especially strangers, as much as possible. Often they no longer dare to leave the house. In such a case, only one can help therapy. When it comes to social fears, they have cognitive behavioral therapy and the acceptance and commitment therapy has proven its worth.

People who suffer from mild shyness:

  • don't like to be the center of attention
  • don't like to attract other people's attention
  • have difficulty speaking to other people
  • are reluctant to speak up at meetings,
  • rarely look the other person in the eye and reluctantly,
  • think a lot about what other people might think of them,
  • are terrified of giving a presentation to a group.
  • Of course, not all points apply to every shy person, but a large proportion are affected by these fears.

Why are people shy?

Shyness accompanies two very common fears, the Fear of rejection and the fear to fail. Scared off by these two fears, a confident and courageous demeanor is almost impossible for shy people. Everyone has these fears within them, but shy people are particularly influenced by them.

Is shyness a question of genes or upbringing?

But what exactly causes these two fears in people? Brain researchers have discovered that that Fear center (the almond kernel) is much more active in reserved people. This ensures that Shy sense danger everywhere.

In addition to the genes, however, the parents also influence the Degree of shyness. Children need their parents. Many parents feel this helplessness in the education advantage. Nothing scares children more than the parents' threat to no longer love the child. Statements like “I don't like you when you are so naughty” or “I don't love you anymore if you don't do your homework” develop in children the idea that you only get the approval and love of others when you are like that how they want one. This belief usually solidifies into adulthood.

Parents who watch their children all the time cut down, also call fear and uncertainty emerged. Mostly it is success-oriented parents who put their children under too much pressure. The more fearful the child becomes, the more they dominate it. Often times, such insecure children develop shy and inhibited personality.

In both cases, the upbringing leads people to present themselves Rejection, trouble and Ridicule want to protect.

Say war on shyness

Are you shy and want to change something? Then you should first accept that you are shy and that is why you are don't make yourself bad. Instead, observe how your shy thoughts affect your behavior. Make your "Thoughts of Shyness" deliberately. In the next step, you should question them in a dialogue with yourself and resolve them. All the thoughts that make life difficult for you are gradually erased by the sensible and adult part of yourself. With the help of this permanent Mind training Your shy thoughts lose their power more and more. Over time, the new positive thoughts first come to mind, making them much more relaxed and secure around people.

Once you have mastered this step, it is advisable to practice social interaction with other people. Shy people often lack practice social togetherness. These things are usually learned during childhood, but you can also learn these social skills as an adult. A self-confident and confident way of dealing with your fellow human beings requires regular practice. You have to overcome yourself and fight against your weaker self. Initially, this behavior will cause feelings of stress, now it is important to stay tuned and just don't fall back into the old, shy behavior. But how exactly can you do your social skills improve? Our tip:

  • Welcome Other people loud and clear as they walk into a store, party, or workplace. The same goes for the adoption.
  • Begin Small talk with your colleagues and ask them how they are.
  • Practice making contact with strangers and occasionally ask for directions or the time.
  • Take Eye contact with people and hold for about 3 seconds.
  • If someone tells you something, there are a few places where you should be interested to follow up and ask questions.
  • Give your fellow human beings a friendly gift smile.
  • Ask a colleague or neighbor for advice and then thank them for their help.

When fighting shyness, keep the following in mind: "Confident demeanor creates confidence". Only those who face their fears will become theirs Successfully shedding shyness can.

 

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