People are polyamorous by nature

This is what cheating looks like in polyamorous relationships

  • Some people believe that being in a polyamorous relationship is virtually impossible to cheat on. But that's not true, says 26-year-old polyamorous Hailey Gill.
  • A lack of communication and unclear boundaries can lead to conflict in polyamorous relationships.
  • From a health perspective, a lack of communication about new sexual partners can be dangerous for polyamorous people.
  • You can find more articles from Business Insider here.

Hailey Gill, 26, realized during her freshman year of high school that she wanted to be polyamorous. Since then she has been trying to get by as a polyamorous person in a monogamous world.

But having more than one partner doesn't mean that Gill's relationships are completely devoid of obligation. Gill has a husband and another partner. She would cheat, she says, if she met someone else without informing her husband or boyfriend.

"Cheating is just as deprecated in my relationships as it is in monogamous relationships," said Gill. "On the other hand, it is not a problem to have fun and love outside of the relationship, as long as this is communicated and we let them know that we are interested in someone new."

Gill and her partners have set very clear boundaries in their definition of cheating. However, this does not apply to all polyamorous people.

Polyamory can take place in a wide variety of ways, be it in the form of monogamous relationships between at least three people to whole groups of people who go out openly and without any obligations.

The definition of cheating can be different depending on the relationship, just as it is always different in monogamous relationships.

Some people, like Gill, for example, have clear boundaries for their communication, while others prefer to talk about them as little as possible, according to the motto: "What I don't know doesn't make me hot."

That cheating is easier in polyamorous relationships is just a myth

Polyamory is difficult to understand for some people. Understanding what makes a good, loyal partner differs from the monogamous perspective. That is why many see polyamorous relationships as an opportunity to cheat uninhibitedly.

Riya and James are polyamorous, active on Youtube and founders of the blog "Open Lifestyle". They believe that the idea that polyamory is “just a chance to cheat” is based on a misunderstanding of the “non-monogamous” and a deep-seated feeling of insecurity.

"This is a very emotionally stressful topic," said Riya in a YouTube video about polyamory and fraud. "There is the fear of being used, the fear of being betrayed by someone in whom you have invested time and feelings."

This fear is the reason why monogamous people sometimes find it difficult to understand the concept of cheating in polyamorous relationships, because the entire dynamic seems to be based on cheating.

Crossing boundaries and a lack of communication can cause harm in polyamorous relationships

Just like in monogamous relationships, jealousy can become a problem in polyamorous relationships. The whole point of polyamory is to give one's partner the freedom to enter into sexual or romantic relationships with other people. But human feelings, such as insecurity, can cause problems here.

“Humans are chaotic beings. We have chaotic hearts that have strong sensations. That doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong or that you're bad in polyamorous relationships, just that you have feelings, ”explains sex therapist Liz Powell, according to Glamor magazine.

The fact that people feel jealous makes communication and the setting of boundaries in polyamorous relationships particularly important issues. They are also important in terms of the health of the participants, because having multiple sex partners involves risks.

According to the US newspaper "The Chicago Tribune", polyamorous people are generally more likely to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases than other people. In poly relationships, it is important to know about the sexual activities of the partners in order to better assess possible health risks. How important such tests are for everyone is also shown by the increasing number of cases of sexually transmitted diseases, a new study by the World Health Organization showed.

This text was translated from English by Alexandra Hilpert.
You can find the original here.