What qualities make you someone

These 12 characteristics characterize likeable people

TeeejayyWe all know them. These people with that certain something - who cast a spell over us and are sympathetic from the start. They are the lucky few, blessed. Many believe this is due to their good looks or extraordinary talents.

But it's also easy to say: Nothing can be changed about that anyway. Travis Bradberry, the co-author of the book "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" does not accept that. He has summarized twelve important characteristics that make people appear extremely likeable.

Scientific studies also suggest that we can influence whether we appear sympathetic.

In a study by the University of California, subjects were asked to rate 500 characteristics related to sympathy. The top 10 adjectives mentioned had nothing to do with intelligence, attractiveness or sociability, but with honesty, transparency and understanding. They describe people with high emotional intelligence

Here are twelve behaviors of likeable people:

1. Show interest

The biggest mistake people make when listening is to focus on what to say next. They think about it so much that they lose the thread and stop listening.

The easiest way to avoid this is to ask questions. In doing so, you should address the other. Everyone loves to listen to them. Anyone who asks interested and open questions not only shows his counterpart that he is listening. Anyone who asks questions shows interest.

You will be surprised how much respect and appreciation you will get by asking questions.

2. Smartphones stay in your pocket

Potstock / shutterstockNothing hurts a conversation more than answering a WhatsApp message or taking a quick look at your cell phone. That is disrespectful and conveys disinterest.

When you are talking, focus on that conversation. You will find that the conversation becomes more interesting and effective when you fully involve yourself.

3. Honesty is a must

Sincerity and honesty are core competencies of sympathetic people. Nobody likes sneaky or spurious people. It's hard to like someone when we don't know how someone feels and thinks.

Popular people know who they are and what they want. They have enough self-confidence to express their opinions openly and not constantly ingratiate themselves. Anyone who always reacts the way others want them to get bored quickly.

4. Be open to new things

Anyone who wants to be personable should be open to new thoughts and ideas. Who likes to talk to a stubborn person who has already formed his or her opinion before the conversation?

Being able to accept other opinions is especially important at work. That doesn't mean you should run after others. It's about leaving your own prejudices aside and empathizing with others.

5. Don't be in the spotlight

Most people dislike people who crave attention. To make a positive impression, it is enough to be kind and considerate.

Even if it sounds a bit clich├ęd: Thank others, also publicly. If you've just completed a big project, thank everyone who helped.

6. Stay true to your opinion

Those who are unpredictable appear unsympathetic. Don't keep changing your mind, stay true to yourself. Even if things are not going well for you, treat others as kindly as always. It is important for those around you to gauge how you are governing when they ask you a question or make a suggestion.

7. Positive body language

Be aware of your body language: posture, facial expression, and the way you speak. Actively influence it and learn to use it for a positive charisma. It will make you happier.

During the conversation, lean slightly in the direction of the other person, speak in a positive tone and look others in the eyes. Avoid negative gestures like crossed arms.

8. A strong first impression

As studies have shown, people decide in the first seven seconds whether they like someone or not. The rest of the time, they look for confirmation of this opinion.

Sounds terrifying at first, but it doesn't have to be. You can use this to your advantage. The first impression is closely related to your body language. A firm handshake, a friendly smile, and an open and upright posture will help ensure a positive first impression.

9. Address people by name

The name is an important part of the personality. It feels good to be addressed by the name. If you meet someone new, don't be afraid to ask their name a second time.

10. The smile

If you smile, you come across as sympathetic, that's no secret. It is very natural for us to mirror the body language of our counterpart. Smile during the next conversation and the other person will reciprocate.

11. Know how to touch others

If you touch someone during a conversation, you release oxytocin. The messenger substance is responsible for trust and a number of other positive feelings. A little touch on the shoulder, a hug, that's all it takes.

Caution: Not everyone wants to be touched, and certainly not at every point. In times of Corona with distance and hygiene rules, this applies even more. Be careful.

12. Passion and fun

Passionate people are attractive. One problem can be that you are completely absorbed in your passion. Anyone who is sympathetic can walk this tightrope. Such people are serious and focused at work, but nonetheless friendly and helpful.

Small talk is reduced to a minimum. However, this does not exclude them, they make it more effective. Instead of talking about rumors, they perceive the other as a personality and talk about deeper topics. They remember what they said - regardless of whether the last conversation was two days or weeks ago. This shows the interlocutor that he is just as important as the work.

The challenge

Sympathetic people are unique, they stand by what they say and easily cast a spell over us. You can easily socialize and create harmony.

It will not be easy to do all of the points at once. This is not necessary either. But just start.

This article was published by Business Insider in 2018. We have reviewed and updated it