What if you lie
Lies: 7 True Facts About The Lie
The truth is: We all lie. Even several times a day. The spectrum of falsehoods ranges from excuses, white lies, perjuries, boasting, hypocrisy, intrigues to big fists lying. An investigation once found that 84 percent of the applicants in the interview alone at least pimp the reality. Extroverts in particular did not take the truth in the job interview very seriously. Remarkable: Even Kindermund does not always tell the truth - children already consciously start cheating at the age of four. Some experts assume that adults lie an average of 200 times a day, including every pimped boasting. But why are we lying at all? Fibbling has been frowned upon since time immemorial, philosophers such as Aristotle, Augustine or Immanuel Kant stigmatize conscious deception as immoral and reprehensible stigmatize and the Bible even calls lying a sin. What you need to know about lies ...
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
Reasons: why are we lying?
Man becomes average lied to every eight minutesUniversity of South Carolina psychologist Gerald Jellison once determined. During a ten-minute conversation, 60 percent of all interlocutors lie to each other up to three times. Every day we are confronted with an unimaginable amount of untruths, exaggerations and other forms of lies, and it is not uncommon for us to lie just as often.
But why do we humans lie (so often)?
A reason and a problem at the same time: We don't even notice. Casual Whispers are usually not even aware of the originators at the moment of the conversation, but make up almost a third of all lies. The rest, Jellison determined, is mostly testimony four core motifs out the untruth:
- 41 percent lie to themselves To spare trouble ("Your food tastes great!").
- 14 percent cheat to get that To make life more convenient ("Tomorrow? Oh, I can't! ").
- 8.5 percent manipulate to to be loved ("I only think of you!").
- 6 percent are dizzy out of laziness ("Sure, I thought of it!").
The lie - it is just something like a social putty. A British study by Nottingham Trent University, for example, suggests the same conclusion. The scientists evaluated that Behavior of Facebook users and identified several reasons for lying on the internet:
Some lied mainly to impress and improve their image. For many, however, the lie served to protect their own Maintain relationships. That sounds schizophrenic, but it works, for example by adapting their opinion to the majority or specifying other similarities. The main thing is to continue to belong.
It may be that the German praises and celebrates truthfulness on Sundays, but becomes everyday Cheated, invented, fogged up, covered up, falsified, drowned and liesthat the beams bend.
In some cases, with a clear conscience. Especially men tend to justify one or the other lie and find it okay when the circumstances are right. A survey shows that sometimes more than half of the respondents agree with a lie - as long as the situation is right.
In which situations some find lying okay
- To help a friend Women: 51 percent; Men: 59 percent
- To pay a compliment Women: 28 percent; Men: 44 percent
- To save a relationship Women: 28 percent; Men: 41 percent
- To pay less tax Women: 12 percent; Men: 26 percent
- To advance the career Women: 12 percent; Men: 25 percent
- To protect yourself from punishment Women: 7 percent; Men: 22 percent
- Not at all, lying is never okay Women: 22 percent; Men: 14 percent
But there is probably no other place where people lie as often as in the office (except perhaps in bed). Who does not know such sentences as:
- "Unfortunately, the boss is in meetings all day."
- "Can you write a short email about this? We'll call you back. "
- "Now you've just missed it!"
We call these excuses and accept them as such. But of course they both know exactly: Everything was a lie. Applicants are cheatingbecause they believe that the job interview is not about facts, but about self-portrayal; Managers cheat because of the exhaustion of facts and the art of making Truth stretching Not to be caught is still considered the supreme discipline in the bel étage.
The world obviously wants to be lied to: Six out of ten Germans are convinced that Honesty doesn't always pay off. Almost one in two thinks that the love of truth can easily be interpreted as naivety and stupidity and far more than one in three even believes that if you want to make a career, you have to resort to lies. The lie - it is part of everyday life like brushing your teeth.
The psychology behind notorious lies
Even if everyone corrects the truth from time to time: Pathological lying (Pseudologia Fantastica) is another caliber. Colloquial synonyms such as "Munchausen Syndrome" or "impostor" describe a person who has a increased need for recognition Has. This is expressed through fantastic stories, some of which even have a true core, are then dramatically exaggerated and in the end even become independent.
It is typical of notorious liars that they can tell their stories in great detail and eloquently, so that the lies are not immediately noticeable. Since that dramatic staging is an integral part of the notorious liar, this behavior is attributed to narcissistic personality disorder in psychology.
Completely made up Life biographies and strokes of fate are typical features:
Notorious liars pretend to have a (mostly serious) disease such as cancer.
It is claimed to be the illegitimate child of a star or a CIA agent.
These liars also portray themselves as victims of a natural disaster, a rampage or at least a relative who has experienced something similar.
The importance of one's own personality is emphasized with titles of nobility or academic titles.
Notorious liars can be convicted. Identification mark for morbid lying are:
- The drama: The morbid liar needs an audience (often in good faith) in front of whom he can produce himself or pose as a victim.
- Contradiction: The facts speak another language.
- The receipts: There are never any witnesses who can confirm a version.
- The logic: Instead of answering explicitly, they evade, the liar gets entangled in content and chronological inconsistencies.
7 truths about lying
Lying is everyday life, but there are numerous facts, some exciting and some amusing, about lying that hardly anyone knows.Hand on heartand not whisper>: Did You Know These Facts About Lying?
If you lie, you get a bigger nose
This is why this phenomenon is also called the Pinocchio effect. It was discovered by scientists from the Spanish University of Granada. Afterwards, when you lie, more blood actually flows into your nose, which becomes warmer, begins to itch and expands (but hardly noticeably). At the same time, the temperature of the face drops. Reason: The blood is mainly needed for the mentally strenuous lying in the brain. Even if the nose does not grow as clearly as with the wooden figure of the same name, the effect can be proven with modern thermography.
Those who honestly admit to lying often do so too
As paradoxical as it sounds, liars love the truth when it comes to lies. Dutch scientists working with Rony Halevy from the University of Amsterdam have discovered that anyone who admits to be a notorious liar really is.
More than 500 psychology students were asked to provide information on how often they had lied in the past 24 hours. Result: an average of 2.04 untruths per day. However, there was a catch: the value was based on self-reports - and no one knows who was really telling the truth. The researchers immediately noticed that 41 percent bragged about never lying. Others came out as true barons of lies.
Therefore experiment two followed: This time the researchers invited 51 test persons from the respective extreme factions - fortune tellers and notorious liars - and played games with them that offered a certain incentive to cheat. And surprise: those who had previously described themselves as liars had for once told the truth and cheated the most. And vice versa.
Testosterone makes you more honest
One would think that testosterone, this macho masculinity hormone, not only makes men more aggressive, but also promotes the typical display behavior and thus also boasting, lying and deceit ... Wrong!
The economist Armin Falk from the University of Bonn, together with colleagues from Maastricht University, was able to show that the hormone also promotes social behavior. Even more: subjects who received extra testosterone for some play tests lied significantly less often than those who received only a placebo. "The disadvantage of many studies on this is that they only compare the testosterone level of the test subjects with their behavior," says study co-author Matthias Wibral.
However, this only reflects statistical relationships and does not allow any insight into the causes of the behavior. Because testosterone not only influences behavior, but also behavior, conversely, the hormone level. In their study, the scientists therefore looked for an approach that also allows conclusions to be drawn about cause and effect.
Those who look each other in the eye lie less often
Look me in the eye ... - The request has a real essence. Because when people are face to face - for example during negotiations - it is more difficult for them to lie, as Kathleen Valley, Joseph Moag and Max Bazerman were able to show in their studies. However - and this is the downside of the story - people prefer to cheat and lie to themselves on the phone, if they don't have to look each other in the eye. And sad, but also true: Most of all we lie to those who are close to us.
Our instincts are better at recognizing liars
When it comes to exposing a liar, your instincts should be trusted the most. Our subconscious is one of the best lie detectors ever, says Leanne ten Brinke of the University of California at Berkeley. In their experiments, the test subjects achieved a success rate of only 43 percent using classic methods to unmask a liar - with instinct, however, they were 48 percent right.
Lying makes you inventive
At least it sounds positive. But there is also a dark side to creativity: creative people tend to be more dishonest, noted Francesca Gino from Harvard Business School, among others. Creativity is even a better indicator of unethical behavior than intelligence. The reason: Because they can. Precisely because creatives are good at developing believable (lying) stories and coming up with justifications, they get away with it more often and take advantage of it.
Men lie more than women
As a survey by market researcher OnePoll found out among 3,000 adults, men lie an average of 1092 times a year, while women lie only 728 times a year. While men only feel guilty in 70 percent of the cases, the figure is as high as 82 percent for women.
However, 75 percent of respondents also said it was okay to lie if it didn't hurt someone else's feelings. When looking at the top 10 lies of men and women, however, it is noticeable that the feelings of the other are not protected so much, but rather their own behavior is predominantly justified. Apparently people even lie to themselves when they lie ...
The top 10 lies for men
- I hardly had a drink.
- Everything's okay, I'm fine.
- I had no reception
- It wasn't that expensive.
- I am on the way.
- I'm stuck in a traffic jam.
- No, your bum doesn't look fat.
- I didn't hear your call.
- Did you lose weight?
- I've always wanted that!
Women's Top 10 Lies
- Everything's okay, I'm fine.
- I have no idea where it is. I didn't touch it.
- It wasn't expensive at all.
- I hardly had a drink.
- I have a headache.
- It was a bargain.
- I am on the way.
- I've had this for ages.
- I didn't throw anything away.
- I've always wanted that!
Lie Detector: 12 Things You Can Use To Know About Liars
Even if instinct - as described above - provides reliable clues, there are still some indications of how liars regularly reveal themselves as such. However, each individual indicator, viewed in isolation, does not have to be Exposing liars. There can be shyness behind looking away, and damp hands can reveal stress. In sum, however, and if several symptoms occur at the same time, they reveal that Attempted deception.
How to track down a fraud:
Eyes are especially tell-tale. Depending on the direction in which you look while remembering, this can indicate a solid lie. A look to the top left, for example, indicates a constructed one truth looking up to the right at a visually reminded one.
The duration of the eye contact itself also partly points to untruths. Inexperienced liars often avoid eye contact - out of shame and a guilty conscience. Notorious liars or quacks will hardly be exposed in this way. It is a misconception that people who look the other way lie every time - and vice versa.
Anyone who has to remember important details, for example, will inevitably look the other way (see previous point). Others look down in front of their boss out of submissiveness. The reverse signal reveals more: if you don't remember anything, but construct, you can stare the other person in the eye all the time.
Choice of words
Liars almost always try to avoid the terms that are related to the act. The classic: You suspect your son of stealing 10 euros from your wallet and ask: “Did you take 10 euros out of my wallet?” If it was him, he will put as much distance between himself and the crime as possible want and answer: "No, I did not steal THAT!"
Or: Two children fight each other, in the end tears flow and you ask the aggressor: “Did you hit your brother?” Most of the guilty parties reply: “No, I didn't hit THEM.” Often there is also the strategy of relativising: “I didn't hit him - at most I jostled him.” Both are strong signals of attempted deception.
Professionals with moral values try to answer difficult questions evasively. You don't want to lie, but you don't want to tell the truth either - for example when your mother-in-law asks how the Sunday roast tasted. Indirect answers are therefore a very strong indication that the truth should be concealed. This category also includes humor or sarcasm, which is intended to distract from the actual message.
When people explain why they can remember an incident or a detail with particular precision, they should be skeptical. So far, nobody has questioned the quality of your statement.
Those who tell the truth usually get louder and faster in their stories, they literally talk themselves into a rage. Liars, on the other hand, tend to be quieter and speak more monotonously. Your statements also lack descriptive details. Often they are also sketchy and they have dropouts when telling the story.
Lying takes longer. This is how the research of the British psychologist Aiden Gregg of the University of Southampton can be summarized. Unlike honest people, liars have a longer reaction time 90 percent of the time.
Changing body language
Liars often change their body language suddenly or give themselves away through involuntary micro-gestures, such as rubbing their nose, tapping their fingers on their mouths or picking their ears. However, these are only weak indicators because they can also occur under normal circumstances, for example because it itches there.
Liars often try to build ramparts.Not literally, of course, but symbolically. So if someone suddenly puts a pen or book between the two of you while telling you a story, it is a good signal to try deception.
In the case of quite a few lies, the timing of the statement, gestures and facial expressions is time-shifted. For example, a swindler would first say, “This is a nice gift!” And only then smile at it. For people who mean it, this usually happens at the same time.
Shortened facial expressions
When someone laughs from the heart, the joy is reflected all over their face: in the corners of their mouth, eyes, forehead. With a fake smile, on the other hand, only the mouth grins.
Lying causes stress. In order not to attract attention, the liar tries to synchronize content, voice and body language. It works automatically without stress. But now it requires his full, exhausting concentration. Most of the time, it doesn't just stay with a lie, but leads to a complete structure of lies - an intellectually demanding construction that, like a house of cards, can collapse with a small mistake.
However, sooner or later this stress penetrates to the outside world in the awareness that one can constantly be exposed: the face petrifies into a poker face, nervous micro-gestures such as itching of the ear or nose, playing with the finger ring occurs more frequently, eye contact is either abruptly broken or becomes particularly intense (piercing look).
A good trick to expose liars is therefore also to increase their stress level - in a place where you do not suspect it: Everyone has physical taboo areas. Literally getting on someone's skin is only reserved for intimate friends. Anyone who enters this area without permission causes stress and involuntary defense mechanisms, such as backing away or indignation.
These countermeasures, however, rob you of the concentration needed to maintain the building of lies. So direct the conversation to the point where you suspect the lie, then invade his territory: slide a block over the invisible table border as if by chance, spread your documents in his territory. In the classic police interrogation, the officer would even move the chair around the corner and get close to the suspect. Consequence: It brings him out of the concept of lies.
In addition, according to the Criminal psychologists Rüdiger Wilmer a total of seven so-called Reality featuresindicating that someone is actually telling the truth:
- The suspect describes the situation / processes free of contradictions and logical.
- The narrative is unstructured. Much details are reported, including unusual and superfluous ones. In some cases, the body language characteristics of the other person are even described.
- The story will spatially and temporally linked and is therefore verifiable.
- In addition, a lot will be interaction described: Conversations are reproduced, but also feelings and own thoughts. Possibly also complications and misunderstood actions.
- The affected person pulls Cross connections to similar processes.
- In the conversation you will spontaneously make your own statements corrected - you have nothing to hide.
- Sometimes it even comes to Self-incriminating, or the suspect expresses concern about the own credibility of his statements.
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Jochen Mai is the founder and editor-in-chief of the career bible. The author of several books lectures at the TH Köln and is a sought-after keynote speaker, coach and consultant.
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