How can I get more stoic
9 thoughts for stoic inner calm
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For many years of my life, the smallest things could throw me off track. Where other rocks were in the surf, I was a grain of sand that was tossed back and forth with every wave. Even today, some small things seem like big things to me, I turn some ephemera into immortal elephants, I am frustrated and pissed off, hesitant, restless, sometimes nervous. But only sometimes, not permanently. For me a great gain in quality of life.
Mark Aurel should know how it works with inner peace. He was a Roman emperor and philosopher from the direction of the Stoa (Stoics), the origin of the name of the stoic calm.
Stoic calm: Control of drives and affects to become free from passions, self-sufficient and unshakable. Not acquired through passive acceptance, but active work on oneself.
If you can rule a Roman Empire with Aurel's stoic principles, then maybe they will also help you rule your own life with a steady hand.
This is followed by a short philosophical ride towards more stoic calm, covered on the back of Aurel's quotations. Yiiiiiiiiiiiihaaa.
# 1 That's how it is, and no different
"We must wholeheartedly welcome everything that hits us, we must not grumble inside, not even be surprised."
“It would be stupid to be angry with the outside world. She does not care."
"Loss is nothing but transformation."
"Get rid of your prejudices and you will be saved."
Your tension arises in the space between what is and what you would like it to be. But any resistance is in vain. Stoic calm requires letting go, letting go.
“It mustn't be like that” - who can forbid it? “It should be like that” - where does it say?
# 2 The color of your soul
“Your disposition will also depend on the nature of the objects that you imagine most often; because the soul takes on its color from the thoughts. "
"Our life is what our thinking makes it."
With a softly colored, soothing soul color, life is more peaceful than with a batik pattern of black and poop brown. When we pick up the brush, our thoughts, things become more beautiful and easier.
# 3 Happiness inside
“You are free to withdraw into yourself at any hour. Allow yourself to step back into your inner self quite often and rejuvenate yourself. "
"Look inside yourself. There is the source of good that never stops gushing unless you stop digging. "
As long as we wait to be calm and satisfied until this or that event has happened, the stoic calm remains unattainable like the king's daughter for the non-royal Xavier Naidoo in his song “She just doesn't see me”. Instead of digging for the source of good within ourselves, we are digging our own grave.
# 4 Over soon
“Soon - and you've forgotten everything. Soon - and everything has forgotten you. "
"Nature aims at the end of every thing as well as its beginning or its continuation, as it were, like the one who throws up a ball."
Much of the good and bad that happens to us is long gone, while our thoughts still revolve around them like vultures over a dilapidated corpse.
We try to feed on the memories. But just as I can't eat a banana that was on the table yesterday and no longer today, I don't get full of the past either.
# 5 Relatively small
"Consider the whole of nature, of which you are only a tiny piece, and the whole measure of time, of which only a short and small section is assigned to you, and the fate of which yours is only a fraction."
“Often look up at the stars - as if you were walking with them. Such thoughts cleanse the soul from the filth of experience. "
The stars shine in the sky longer than the events in our lives. And they're bigger too. Much bigger. Just as a small line looks even smaller next to a large one, a look at the sky can reassure us: in the end we are tiny with all our desires and problems.
# 6 Revenge is bitter
"The best way to get revenge is not to repay like with like."
"Leave the mistakes of others where they belong - with them."
As powerful as we may feel when we dream violent dreams of revenge, we are powerless when we pursue them. Because with it someone else caused our behavior, it was not free. Vengeance almost always increases the unrest within us.
At least let the pigs go to hell alone if you can't forgive them.
# 7 The cucumber is bitter, it doesn't matter why
“A bitter cucumber? Throw them away. Thorn bushes in the way? Dodge them. That's all. Don't ask: why are there such things in the world. "
Ties to the first point, acceptance. But instead of just accepting, it is also important to act according to the circumstances. The opposite of action is persistence - on useless questions that have no answer for us.
In a conversation last year my grandmother said to me: "Whatever happens, you must never ask the question: why me?" My grandma is right I think.
# 8 Connected
"What is not good for the whole swarm of bees is also not good for the bee."
"All of them work together to achieve an end result, some knowing and attentive, others without paying attention to it."
"So don't get tired of looking for your benefit by giving benefits to others."
Everything is one, everything is yours and mine.
For years of my childhood and youth and young adulthood, I wanted nothing to do with the swarm of bees and preferred to build my own nest. It wasn't comfortable there. It was empty and cold and pointless. It is the people who make life alive and worth living. Whoever not only opens up to them, but also does them service, is rich and owns the whole beehive as well as his neighbors. It is also incredibly comforting to feel that you are not alone in the world and with your plans.
# 9 Back to the roots, back to gratitude
“How important it is to imagine with delicacies and similar dishes that this is the corpse of a fish, that the corpse of a bird or pig, also that the Falerner is the juice of a grape and the purple robe is the wool of a sheep with blood Shell wetted. "
“Think of what you have rather than what you lack. Pick the best of the things you have and then consider how eagerly you would have looked for them if you didn't have them. "
We are not only connected to all people, but also to all animals and plants and everything else there is. Being aware of this, for example when eating, grounds and calms you down. With this mindfulness one embeds oneself in the big picture, like an unborn child in the mother's womb.
More on this under How to stop being annoyed and hurt (in 60 seconds) and in the myMONK books How to stop taking things so personally and How to let go of worries, stress and self-doubt.
Photo: Farhad Ghaderi
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